Batman: The Complete Bad Day Parody Saga
by Sonata-Time-Nocturne-Aoi
Summary: Complete! This is a re-release of our numerous 'Batman's Bad Day' stories we have written over the years. Each story has been re-edited and re-formatted. Whether you have seen the originals or missed them completely, these will be worth the nostalgic read again!
1. Introduction

**Story**: Batman: The Complete Bad Day Parody Saga  
**Author**: Master Jin Sonata  
**Written**: April 16th, 2015  
**Genre**: Humor/Parody  
**Rating**: T (Violence, Language)  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own DC or its unfortunate hero.

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**This is a collection of all of the 'Batman's Bad Day' fics we have uploaded over the years on this site! We will be removing the original versions, so this definitive update is where you will now find them! In this collection you will find**:

**Batman's Bad Day: Zero**  
Originally Published On March 4th, 2008

**Batman's Bad Day: Day One**  
Originally Published On February 25th, 2006

**Batman's Bad Day 2: Prison Folly**  
Originally Published On September 23rd, 2006

**Batman's Bad Day 3: The Semi Sweet Escape**  
Originally Published On September 13th, 2007

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**Please proceed to the start of the series: ****Batman's Bad Day: Zero****!**


	2. Batman's Bad Day: Zero

**Batman's Bad Day: Zero**

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**Abandoned Warehouse**

"**Quick, this way!"**

"**Wait up will ya?**

Two bank robbers were on the run through an abandoned warehouse trying to outrun the heroes of Gotham City. When the lead robber arrived at a dead end, he frantically began searching for an alternate escape route.

"**Damn! We gotta find a way out! See any place we could slip through buddy? …Buddy?"** the lead robber says as he turns around to see that both Batman and Robin had already beaten up his partner. Now they were on their way to trash him as well.

"**Oh no! It's the Dynamic D-mmmrrph!"** the robber yells out, before getting smacked in the face by Robin's fist, knocking him out cold upon impact.

Minutes later, the Gotham City Police arrive at the scene, and take the robbers into custody.

As usual, Batman and Robin were nowhere to be seen whenever the authorities arrive.

**Joker's Hideout - 11:01 pm **

Joker and Harley Quinn were sitting together watching TV when the local evening news came on.

_"**Tonight on Gotham News at 11: Two dangerous bank robbers were arrested and taken in by police earlier this evening. Commissioner Gordon has stated that '...the robbers were nearly unconscious, and tried up with rope...'. He then continues to say that 'Batman has once again helped the police serve justice within our city'. Now for the weather…"**_

**SMASH!**

Joker flung his remote control into his TV, breaking it on impact after watching the news report of yet another one of Batman and Robin's heroic escapades around Gotham City.

"**Curse that problematic Bat-Brain and his stupid sidekick! Every night its always 'Batman saved this', 'Batman caught that'…BAH!"** Joker yells out frustration. **"For years he's been getting on my nerves! There's got to be a way to take those two down for good!"**

"**But Mr. J, it doesn't seem like we will ever get the chance to one-up them. I mean, every time we or any other villain get close to succeeding, they end up foiling our plans in the end,"** Harley says with a sigh.

"**True…true…"** Joker growls as he got up off of the couch and began pacing about the room.

"**It would so convenient if we could just sneak into their compound and poison them or something, you know Mr. J?"** Harley says.

"**It could work…knowing them, they'd probably have the whole place booby-trapped…unless…"** Joker thinks out loud.

He then came up with the perfect plan.

"…**Unless we get the other villains around Gotham City to take the brunt of Batman's security system while we waltz in and finish them personally,"** Joker says, a wide smile spreading across his face.

"**That sounds brilliant Mr. J! Shall I contact the other baddies?"** Harley offers.

"**Yes…for we begin tonight! This will be the end of Batman and Robin's days of successful heroism,"** Joker says, before breaking out into his evil maniacal laughter.

* * *

**Wayne Manor - 12:14 am**

It was quiet outside Bruce Wayne's mansion. The lights were out around the vicinity, and there seemed to be nobody around for miles. However, that silence didn't last long.

Hiding within some thick shrubbery were Joker, Harley Quinn, Scarecrow, Clay Face, Riddler, K. Croc, Bane, Poison Ivy, Two-Face, Mr. Freeze, and Penguin.

"**Yahaha, so what's the plan, Joker, since we're all here now?"** the Penguin asks.

"**Yeah, are we really going to take Batman and Robin down for good?"** Poison Ivy inquires with skepticism in her voice.

"**The chick's got a point. Every time we try to trash the Dynamic Duo, we're the ones who get our asses handed to us in the end!"** Clay Face adds.

"**Of course we're going to take him out for good! With my brilliant plan, Bat-Brain and his fruity sidekick will pay dearly for years of humiliation,"** the Joker responds harshly. **"Now, here's what I want everyone to do…"**

The Joker proceeded to assign different tasks to all of the villains, each having a major part in the process of breaking inside and dealing with Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson.

**Wayne Manor: ****Back Entrance - ****12:24 am **

The first task in breaking into Bruce Wayne's mansion involved Mr. Freeze, K. Croc, and Penguin. The three approach the back door and look at one another.

"**Alright, here's the deal: I'll freeze the door, K. Croc will shatter it with his strength, and Penguin will shoot down any security alarms that may go off,"** Mr. Freeze explains.

The three men nod and immediately perform each of their jobs. Mr. Freeze pulled out his ice gun and sprayed the door completely until it was frozen solid. K Croc then gets a running start and charges straight into the frozen door, shattering it upon impact. Just as they suspected, the mansion alarm system started blaring. Penguin immediately took out his umbrella gun and ran down the hallway, shooting out the sensors until everything was silenced from within. All three men met in the middle of the hallway.

"**Well that was simple…"** K. Coc states, scratching his head.

**"Yes…a bit too simple…"** Mr. Freeze says.

"**Who cares if it was simple or not? Let's go and report to Jo—"** Penguin says.

His words were suddenly cut short when a trap door suddenly opens from beneath their feet. All three men yell as they fell to a prison cell deep below the mansion. The trap door then closes up.

Seconds later the second wave of villain's enter into the mansion.

**Wayne Manor: Interior - 12:40 am**

Poison Ivy, Clay Face, and Scarecrow were next to enter into the fray. They creep through the dark hallways of the mansion as they try to locate the two hero's bedrooms.

"**I wonder what happened to the first team…"** Scarecrow asks.

"**I don't know, but at least they cleared the way for us. Now, let's split up,"** says Poison Ivy. **"I'll check down here on the first floor while you two check upstairs," **she instructs to Clay Face and Scarecrow.

The three agree and go their separate ways.

Poison Ivy searches the bottom floor until she comes upon a door marked with a giant 'R' insignia.

"**This 'R' on the door must stand for 'Robin'. Let's take a peek, shall we?"** Poison Ivy says as she opens the door and flicks on the lights.

Much to her dismay, the 'R' on the door did not stand for 'Robin', but 'Rottweilers' instead, as she was now face to face with Bruce Wayne's pet Rottweilers. The dogs growled at Poison Ivy and began to advance upon her. Thinking quickly, she pulls out a vile of green liquid and tosses it on the ground, spewing green gas throughout the room. The Rottweilers immediately fall sleep upon whiffing the substance.

Poison Ivy turns to leave, but the door behind her suddenly shuts close, locking her from the inside. She would ultimately be stuck there until the Rottweilers woke up later on.

Scarecrow meanwhile went upstairs and proceeded to open the first door he saw.

**CRASH!**

Unfortunately, he had opened the broom closet, causing a ton of garden and house clearing equipment to spill out and fall on top of him, burying him under the mess.

Lastly, Clay Face, upstairs as well, eventually find both heroes' doors at the opposite end of the same hallway where Scarecrow searched.

"**Heh, found their rooms. Now to report back to Joker—"** Clay Face says with a grin, turning to leave…

**WHACK…CRASH!**

…when Dick Grayson slams open his door, smacking Clay Face straight through a window at the end of the hall. Dick yawned as he went to the bathroom, not even noticing that he ejected Clay Face out of the mansion.

* * *

**Wayne Manor: Interior - 1:00 am**

Two-Face, Riddler, and Bane were the next wave to infiltrate the mansion. Upon entering, they noticed that majority of the mansion had been searched through already.

"**Looks like the others have already been through everything. Think they found Batman and Robin yet?"** Two-Face asks.

"**I doubt it. Let us make sure every nook and cranny has been swept,"** Riddler responds.

Bane simply grunts as he follows to others.

The three men head upstairs, and stop when they hear the toilet flush from inside the bathroom.

"**Someone's inside. It must be one of the two!"** Two-Face says.

"**Hmm…should we take whoever's inside out ourselves or let the Joker handle it?"** Riddler asks.

Bane growls and smacks his fists together, telling them that he wanted to smash whoever's within.

"**Whatever you say,"** Two-Face says with satisfaction.

Bane turns toward the bathroom door. With a mighty heave, he punches through the door, and yanks out the person inside.

It was neither Batman's nor Robin, but in fact, Batman's butler: Alfred.

"**Oh my…this isn't good…"** Alfred says as Bane drops him to the ground.

"**Hey, that's not Batman nor Robin! It's just some old prune!"** Two-Face says with disappointment.

"**I say, good sirs, you shouldn't underestimate your elders,"** Alfred says, getting up and brushing himself off.

"**Oh yeah? Well let us show you how we treat old people like you!"** Riddler responds, as he, Two-Face, and Bane prepared to assault Alfred.

Before the men could attack, Alfred whips out a rocket launcher from out of nowhere and fires it at the three villains.

**KABLAM!**

The blast knocks all three guys out the same window Clay Face was knocked out of earlier.

"**Well, that certainly takes care of them for now. Now to report this break-in to Master Bruce…"** Alfred says, turning around to head toward Bruce's bedroom, only to run into Joker and Harley.

**PSSSSSS!**

Joker sprays a sleeping gas compound on Alfred, knocking the butler out in mere seconds.

"**Silly old man, you won't ruin Mr. J's plans tonight!"** Harley says happily.

"**Okay, Harley, take this spray to Robin's bedroom and administer the substance while I take care of Bat-Brain,"** Joker instructs her.

"**You go it!"** Harley says as she went to do as she was told.

Minutes later, Joker enters Bruce's bedroom. He walks along the side of his bed, and smiles evilly.

"**This is the end of your successful crime-fighting spree. Once you inhale this special hallucinogenic substance, you'll become a pathetic loser and you will fall for every trap and gimmick we'll throw at you from now on!"** Joker says as he sprays the substance near Bruce's nose.

Joker then tucks the bottle inside his pocket and began to exit the room.

"**Time to get the other moron's out of here and get everything repaired before they wake. Oh how I can't wait to find out how the Dynamic Duo's day will go tomorrow!"** Joker says before leaving the scene.

This was the beginning of the end for Batman and Robin, as their misfortunes would begin the next day.

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**Please review and keep watch for the next story: Batman's Bad Day: Day One****, as this collection is constantly updated until its completion!**


	3. Batman's Bad Day: Day One

**Batman's Bad Day: Day One**

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**Wayne Manor - ****6:32 am**

Bruce Wayne woke up bright and early in his bed feeling like crap. He had been up late last night trying to figure out who kept setting off the car alarm on his work vehicle. Nevertheless, he did manage to get close to his usual four hours of sleep. Just then, his alarm clock went off. As we touched the snooze button, the clock ignited and blew up in his face.

"**Joker,"** Bruce sighs under his breath.

**Wayne Manor - ****6:40 am**

"**Where's my dry-off towel?"** Bruce yells as he steps into the shower.

"**It's in the wash right now, sir,"** his butler Alfred responds.

"**Now what am I going to use?"** Bruce thinks to himself.

No matter, for he decided to just start shaving instead. After getting his face all lathered up, he grabbed the razor and motioned it toward his face. At that exact moment, Alfred came in, used the toilet, and then flushed it. Bruce's bathwater soon turned icy cold, forcing him to jump, which made him scrape a big razor gash across his face.

"**GAAAAAA!"** Bruce screams, grasping his now bloody face. Trying to reach his face-towel, he makes a wrong move and slips on a bar of soap he had dropped earlier, making him fall out of the tub, curtain and all.

**Wayne Manor - ****7:14 am**

"**More coffee, sir?"** Alfred asks as Batman skimmed over the daily paper.

"**Yeah, just a little,"** Bruce grumbles, rubbing his now bandaged cheek.

As Alfred poured his coffee, Dick loudly bursts into the dinning room.

"**Hey guys, check this out!"**

Dick's sudden and surprising entrance made Alfred jump, forcing Alfred to miss the coffee cup and pour the piping hot coffee onto Bruce's crotch.

"**EEEEYYYYOOOOOOWWWWW!"** Bruce yells as the hot beverage now started to trickle down his legs.

"**Alfred! What's the meaning of this?" **Bruce shouts angrily.

"**I'm terribly sorry, Master Bruce. Dick's sudden appearance in here startled me," **Alfred responds.

"**Damnit Grason!"** Bruce fumes as he glares at his sidekick.

"**Sorry man, but look what came in the mail. It's from the Joker,"** Dick says, handing Bruce the goods.

Bruce, checks the box thoroughly to see if it showed any signs of it being booby trapped.

"**Shall I fetch the Bat-Scanner, sir?" **Alfred offers.

"**No thanks Alfred. The Joker can't fool me with his lame pranks," **Bruce responds.

Bruce removes the lid from the box, only to be attacked by a large white boxing glove, punching him clear in the face. Bruce then falls to the side of his chair, slips on some coffee that dripped onto the floor, and then hits his head on the edge of the table. Trying to get up, he grabs the tablecloth and winds up pulling his breakfast plate and other silverware on top of him.

"**Now that's gotta hurt,"** Dick takes note as he stares at the mess created around the table.

Alfred sighs, started to leave the room. **"How unfortunate...I'll go fetch the first aid kit."**

**Wayne Manor - ****8:09 am**

"**Aw give me a brake."**

Sitting in his driveway, Bruce tried and tried again to start his car. Someone must have disabled and removed something from his engine last night when his car alarm was set off by someone, or something…

"**Jesus Christ, start dammit,"** Bruce yells as he pounds his fists against the steering wheel.

"**Want me to drive you to work like I used to when you were a kid, Master Bruce?"** Alfred offers.

Bruce looks into his rear-view mirror and saw his butler walking towards his vehicle.

"**No, not today Alfred"** Bruce says, gritting his teeth in annoyance. **"I want to drive myself today...in my own car."**

Alfred raises an eyebrow in surprise, and then relaxes it before giving him a brief smirk.

"**If you insist, Master Bruce. But I would recommend using a key to start up the engine, for this isn't like your Bat-mobile where you just tell it what to do via voice command,"** Alfred comments before walking back into the manor.

Bruce sat in his car for a moment looking like a complete ass. Even though he was already late for work, he really did need his butler to drive such a non-technologically advanced vehicle, especially since his car was a Ford Model T.

"**What a pathetic start this day is turning out to be. Hey Alfred, I do need that drive to work!"** Bruce yells, getting out of his car and running back into his luxurious home to fetch his butler.

**Wayne Enterprises - 10:45 am**

"**Here are the reports on today's stocks, sir."**

Bruce was sitting in his nice cozy office conducting business at Wayne Enterprises. His secretary comes in and hands him today's stock reports.

"**Hmm…Microsoft…up 50 points…LexCorp…up 23 points…Wayne Enterprises…DOWN 9000 POINTS! HOLY HELL! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" **Bruce screams in horror.

His outburst got the attention of his whole Corporation, for every employee in the building listened intensely to Bruce's long chains of angry swearing all morning and up into lunch.

* * *

**Wayne Enterprises - ****12:15 pm**

**"Pastrami again?"** Bruce says, as he looks into his sack lunch.

Bruce was on his lunch break. He invited his old pal Clark Kent to chat with him during lunch. Clark was eating a slice of pizza, while Bruce fumbled with his chips, drink, and desert.

**"I see your butler Alfred still packs your lunches,"** Clark states.

**"He says I spend too much money on gadgets and equipment for the Bat Cave," **Bruce comments dryly.

**"And I guess you're stuck having your butler to make every meal for you?" **Clark asks.

**"Shut-up. That's what being rich is all out," **Bruce responds smugly.

At that time, a young woman with heavy black and white makeup wearing a red business suit struts into the room and stops in front of their table.

**"Hiya Mr. B. I got something for ya!"** the girl says gleefully.

**"Who's this nut job?"** asks Clark, raising an eyebrow.

**"Definitely no one I've hired,"** says Bruce with a shrug.

**"Here, take this, Mr. B!"** the girl interrupts, handing a tiny multi-colored present over to Bruce, then abruptly turns and leaves out the room.

**"What was that all about, and what in the world is this?"** Bruce questions, as he stared down at the little gift.

Upon closer examination using his X-Ray vision, Clark notices something flashing inside it.

**"BRUCE IT'S A BOMB!" **Clark exclaims.

**"WHAT? QUICK, GET IT AWAY FROM ME!"** Bruce shouts in response.

Clark lunges forward to slap the box out of Bruce's hand, but ends up smacking Bruce along with the present, causing them to crash out the twentieth-story window.

**"Oops,"** Clark says, looking out the now broken window.

Bruce tumbles out of the building and lands on a patch of flowers on the side of the street. He immediately stands, seemingly unharmed, but then noticed the present-bomb was lying right next to him. Acting on impulse, Bruce dashes away from it...

**WHAM!**

but suddenly gets run over by a large hay-truck who backed up on top of him.

**"Hey! Watch were you're going, you punk!"** yells the Scarecrow from his truck as he drove away.

Clark flies down from the building and meets up with Bruce seconds later.

**"You alright?"** he asked.

**"Just barely. No thanks to you, you dumbass,"** Bruce grumbles under his breath.

**"I guess I keep forgetting how strong I am,"** Clark adds with a slight chuckle. **"Well, at least you are alright."**

The two men then look down as a small girl skips up to them holding the bomb-gift.

**"You dwopped this, mister!"** says the girl as she hands the gift to Bruce, then skips away.

Clark and Bruce look at one another and gulps as the gift explodes.

**KABLAM!**

**Gotham City Streets - ****2:19 pm**

Bandaged, burned, but still breathing, Bruce decides to head home early and rest before his night-shift as Batman. Alfred was still working back at the mansion at this time, so his only means of transportation was the city bus. When it arrives, he steps on board and approaches the bus driver.

**"How much is the fare?"** Bruce asks the bus driver.

**"For you, it's free!"** purred the cute looking female driver who wore a black latex bodysuit.

**"Uhh...right…" **Bruce responds, turning to look at the empty bus. There was only a small black cat on board sitting in one of the seats near the back. He decides to sit next to it to keep it company.

**"What are you looking at?"** Bruce says to the cat, who stares back at him as if it was saying 'Back off, tuna breath'.

The cat simply stared at him for a while before starting to slowly scratch at Bruce as if he were a scratching post.

**"Hey, stop that,"** Bruce says to the cat who simply kept scratching at him.

Bruce takes hold of the cat and attempts to move it, but the cat fought back and slashed Bruce in the face.

**"YEEOOWW!"** Bruce yells in response, taking the cat and chucking it to the back of the bus. That didn't last long, as the cat came back and began mauling Bruce's face all the way back to his mansion.

**"Now play nice you two,"** the female bus driver laughs with delight.

**Wayne Manor - 4:00 pm**

**"More tea, sir?"** Alfred asks a disgruntled Bruce, who sat in the den watching television.

**"No, not this time. I'm not going to have anything hot spilled on me again!" **Bruce responds to Alfred.

**"If you wish, master Bruce,"** Alfred responds.

Alfred turns to head into the kitchen, but slips on Dick's skateboard that was left lying around on the ground. Alfred falls toward Bruce, causing the hot pot of tea spill all over him.

**"GYAAAAAAAA!"** Bruce yells as the hot beverage burns through his bandages. **"ALFRED!"**

**"Terribly sorry, sir. I seemed to slip on young Master Dick's skating-board," **Alfred explains.

Bruce slowly stands and limps out the room.

**"Going so soon, Master Bruce?"** Alfred inquires.

**"Yes. I'm going to the Bat Cave. Don't let anyone bother me while I'm in there, GOT IT?"** Bruce responds sternly as he disappears for the rest of the afternoon in solitude.

* * *

**Bat Cave - 5:05 pm**

Bruce spent the rest of the afternoon locating criminals and monitoring police activity on his supercomputer within the Bat Cave. No one had bothered him for a good hour and he was rather relieved of that fact. No hot beverages, no psycho cats, and no exploding packages to deal with. Maybe his day was starting to fare for the better. however, this did not necessarily mean he was enjoying the downtime.

"**How boring,"** Bruce says to himself. **"I've had a rough day as it is and no one is even trying to rob a bank or anything right now."**

Coincidentally, and with perfect timing, Commissioner Gordon appears on screen with an urgent message.

"**Batman, Joker and Penguin are robbing the Gotham Gold Storehouse! Please hurry to…wait a minute… BATMAN IS BRUCE WAYNE?!" **Commissioner Gordon says, before stopping to gawk at what he was witnessing.

"**Damnit!"** Bruce says, face-palming at the fact that he forgot to suit up in his costume beforehand.

"**Wait until I tell everyone in the precinct about this!"** Gordon says gleefully.

Bruce immediately shuts off the monitor and hurries over to his costume case where his Bat Suit hangs. Still limping from the burns and other misfortunes from earlier that day but still functioning, Bruce opens up the large metal door only to find his Bat suit gone.

"**ALFRED!"**

As if on queue, Dick bursts inside the cave holding a tiny miniaturized Bat suit.

"**I knew it was probably you wondering where your Bat suit was, so I washed it for you!"** Dick says with a cheesy smile.

"**You mean my $700,000,000 one of a kind suit?" **Bruce says, on the boiling point due to anger and disbelief.

"**Yeah, Unfortunately, I think it shrunk a little,"** Dick says.

"**No shit, Sherlock! Now what am I supposed to wear?" **Bruce questions his partner.

"**How about that 1960's style Bat suit you have in your costume trunk?"** Dick suggests

"**You mean the same one Adam West wore? No. Freakin'. Way,"** Bruce says, resolving never to wear that outfit for any reason whatsoever.

**Bat Cave - ****6:15 pm**

"**See, it fits,"** says Robin, now in costume, with Batman in his slightly tight and cheaply made 1960's Bat suit.

"**Shut-up, bird-turd. This suit makes me look really fruity," **Batman comments.

Batman then walks toward the rotating platform where his recently upgraded and polished Batmobile sat. He gestures Robin toward the control panel.

"**Robin, push the red button for me to rotate the car so it'll face the cave's exit," **Bruce instructs his sidekick.

"**No prob,"** the half-listening Robin replies while he had his face buried within a sleazy magazine he had pulled out a moment ago.

Robin accidentally presses the green button, which catapults the Batmobile off into the hundred-mile ditch on the side of the Bat Cave. They could then hear the car crashing and exploding once it hit the bottom. Batman gives a murderous glare toward Robin, who slowly backs away from him in response.

**Gotham City Streets - 6:32 pm**

"**It is a damn good thing I have an extra Bat mobile in reserve,"** Batman says as he and Robin drive down the dark city streets of Gotham's industrial district

All of a sudden, the car starts sputtering and grinds to a halt.

"**Crap! It needs gas!" **Batman says with a loud sigh.

"**That's okay, Batman. I'll get some gas down the street. Joker and Penguin's hideout shouldn't be too far from here," **Dick responds.

Batman sighed.

"**Alright. You get the gas and I'll kicks some criminal ass," **Batman says to his partner.

"**Right!"** says Robin as both men step out of the vehicle and head toward their respective locations.

**Storehouse - 6:47 pm**

Batman walks toward the entrance of the Storehouse. He finds an opening and makes his way inside. He sees a group of people in a dark room discussing their evil plans.

"**Hold it right there, villains! You are all going back to prison where you belong,"** Batman yells out.

The Joker appears out of the shadows, walking towards Batman with several other villains by the clown's side.

"**Well well well, looks like the Bat flew into our trap,"** Joker laughs in amusement.

"**What trap?"** Batman demands, ready to take action.

"**Oh booooys…" **says Joker, signaling the other villains to pull out their machine guns. The Penguin was the first to pull out his umbrella-gun, along with Mr. Freeze and his ice-ray.

"**Take this!"** yells Batman, as he tried to pull out his Baterang, but winds up jammed in his utility belt.

"**Oh sh-"** mutters Batman.

"**FIRE!"** yells Joker in response.

**Commissioner Gordon's House - 6:49 pm**

At Commissioner Gordon's house, the commissioner was in the middle of printing flyers proclaiming 'Batman is Bruce Wayne'. Then the phone rang. He went over and answers it immediately, whilst looking out the window from his second story room.

"**Hello?…Oh, hi honey! Oh, I'm doing fine, I'm just printing a few important documents….huh? Oh don't worry about me, there hasn't been any reports of violence in the streets tonight…"**

Just then, Gordon witnesses Batman scrambling down the street, dodging several dozen rounds of gunfire and other assorted types of projectiles, whilst screaming like a school girl. Seconds later, every villain in Gotham arrives on the scene, chasing the bat while continuing to fire his or her weapons.

_"**Honey dear, is everything alright?"**_ Gordon's wife asks due to the sudden silence from her husband.

"**Um…er…everything's fine dear. Everything is just fine…"** Gordon says slowly, a sweat drop appearing on the side of his head at what he was seeing.

**Gotham City Streets - ****6:59 pm**

Robin walks back to the Bat mobile, carrying a jug of gasoline. He's not all too happy about the gas prizes being $40 a gallon, or about maxing-out Batman's credit cards by buying more naughty magazines. After gassing up the car, he heard the sound of chain gunfire coming from one of the buildings down the street. That's when he sees Batman frantically running from the horde of criminals.

"**Robin! Start up the car, NOW!"** Batman yelled, diving into the car before it jets off toward the highway.

**Gotham City Highway - ****7:15 pm**

"**So what happened?"** Robin asks, dodging cars as he sped down the busy highway.

"**It was a setup, and I got capped in the ass fourteen times,"** Batman muttered rubbing his tore-up rear.

"**No sweat. Since I'm here to help out, we'll just drive back to the warehouse and take them on together,"** Robin says with confidence, while at the same time wasn't paying attention to how fast and dangerous he was driving.

Suddenly, a siren blared.

**"STOP! PULL OVER"** was then heard behind them.

It was the police. Robin managed to steer the car to the side of the highway, not realizing that the police officer approaching their vehicle was not in standard G.C.P.D. uniform.

"**ROBIN! How many times do I have to tell you to leave the driving to me?"** Batman yells at Dick.

"**But…you told me too…"** Robin sputters before the strange officer steps toward their window.

"**Good evening. I'm officer K. Croc. Do you know why I pulled you over?" **the cleverly disguised cop says, introducing himself.

"**I don't even know who the hell you are! Are you even from Gotham City?"** Batman questions the officer.

"**Don't patronize me, dumbass**," says the cop. **"May I see your license and registration please?"**

"**Oh...my license…um…it left it in the other Bat mobile…"** he trails off, turning angrily towards Robin.

"**Would you mind stepping out of the vehicle?"** the cop asks.

"**Yes, I would mind,"** Batman replies.

"**What are you hiding?" **the cop questions.

"**Psst…Batman, isn't this the car with that high proton laser cannon in th-" **Robin whispers before being backhanded by Batman's hand.

**"Sir, I'm going to have you step outside the vehicle so I can search it," **the cop tells Batman.

"**Look, pervert, I don't do that on first dates,"** replied the caped crusader.

Batman, who was really on the verge of going coo-coo for cocoa-puffs, immediately gets out of the vehicle to get this search over with.

"**What's that around your waist? Sir, are you carrying drugs?"** asks the cop who removes the utility belt from Batman's waist.

"**No, that's my utili-WAIT! DON'T PRESS THAT BUTTON!"** Batman shouts while the cop flips a random switch on his utility belt.

At that moment, a huge flash of light followed by a large mushroom cloud appeared behind the city skyline.

"**NO! THAT WAS THE SELF DESTRUCT SWITCH TO THE BAT CAVE YOU IMBECILE!"** yells a now distraught Batman.

"**Good thing Alfred is at a dinner party right now,"** Robin responds in surprise.

"**Sir, if you don't mind, I'll just check your trunk now,"** the cop says, walking toward the trunk and popping it open. **"Sir, would you explain to me why Adam West is in your trunk, bound, gagged and stripped down to his pink underwear?"**

"**Shit, some crooks must have slipped him into the trunk while Robin &amp; I were occupied back at the warehouse,"** Batman growls to himself, gritting his teeth hard at today's nonstop chain of ridiculous circumstances.

"**Sir, I'm placing you under arrest for the possession of explosives, refusing to show ID, calling me an imbecile, and kidnapping a famous celebrity,"** the cop says, immediately cuffing the Dynamic Duo.

"**#&amp;$#$$&amp;#$&amp;&amp;$&amp;!"** yells Batman all the way to Arkham Prison as Robin slinks further down in the seat as he's showered with tickets from Batman's colorful language.

**Arkham Asylum - 10:35 pm**

Batman and Robin sit silently in their jail cell hopefully waiting for Alfred to come and bail them out. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. Minutes later, an old man carrying a dummy who looked like Al Capone opens their cell door and reels in a TV. After they leave, the TV turns on, showing the Joker within Gotham's Newsroom.

"**Good evening, Gotham City. I am The Joker, bringing you the latest development of our 'Take Over Gotham Project' happening right now as we speak. I would like to take some time to congratulate the Bat-brain on his exciting day. I hope my friends had loads of fun with him! Anyway, enjoy your stay in your lovely Arkham Asylum suite because you will be there for a long time. And to make sure you won't get lonely, I've arranged a cell mate for you two. Ta ta!"**

Suddenly the cell doors crash open, and in steps a rather large, angry and foreboding figure.

It was Bane.

"**Well, well, well, if it ain't my old rock'em, sock'em punching bag: Batman! Are you ready for your daily exercises?"** Bane roars menacingly while cracking his knuckles.

"**Well, at least we'll stay in shape… I think,"** Robin says with an unsure yet hopeful smile.

"**Robin, shut up,"** Batman growls, as the cell door slowly closes on them.

* * *

**Please review and keep watch for the next story: ****Batman's Bad Day 2: Prison Folly****, as this collection is constantly updated until its completion!**


	4. Batman's Bad Day 2: Prison Folly: Part 1

**Batman's Bad Day 2: Prison Folly: Part 1**

* * *

**Batman, Robin, and Bane's Prison Cell - 2:12 am **

It was the first night that Bruce and Dick were spending in their jail cell. After Bane had used Bruce's face to clean the toilet a few hours prior, Bane had finally retired to his bed, bunked directly above Bruce. Dick had a separate bed to himself on the other side of the cell. Being so late, Bruce doubted that he'd get any sleep before it was time to wake up again at 7:00 am. He grumbled as he tried to figure out a way he could escape from Arkham without being noticed.

After tossing and turning for a while, Bruce got out of his bed and walked to the bars of the cell. As he grabbed on to them, 15,000 volts of electricity electrocuted him. After 20 minutes of being shocked, he was jettisoned backwards and landed back in his bed, burnt and extra crispy.

"**Why me?"** he coughs, before hearing a strange creaking sound. He darted his eyes to try to pinpoint were the noise was coming from. It creaked again, a bit louder this time.

Bruce sat up and looked around once more, before laying back down.

It then became silent for a long while.

As Bruce finally drifted off to sleep, the creaking noise returned, much louder than before. Bruce woke up just in time to witness Bane's bed collapse right on top of him.

Bane still slept on like nothing happened.

Later that morning, it was time for all prisoners in Arkham to wake up.

Dick yawned as he stretched in his bed. He felt refreshed from his evening slumber.

"**Ah, I slept like a baby! How about you, Bruce….Bruce?"** he says, looking around for his buddy. At that moment, Bane was waking up. After he got out of bed, Bane's mattress was immediately knocked aside as Bruce crawled out from beneath it, gasping for breath.

"**There you are, buddy ol' pal! Sleep well?"** Dick says with his trademark cheesy smile. Bruce tried his hardest not to attempt to strangle his partner. A short time later, a familiar figure in uniform walked in front of their cell. It was Officer K. Croc.

"**Alright maggots, its shower time,"** Officer Croc says. Dick and Bane made their way out the cell. As Bruce stepped out, Croc grabbed him and pulled him to the side.

"**Hold on, Bat-face, you're next to get registered for your prison ID number,"** he says, as he dragged him down the hallway.

**Prison Outfitter - 7:31 am**

"**So, what can I get for you today?"** says the red-haired woman dressed in green.

"**Poison Ivy? You're here t—"** Bruce says in surprise, before getting clubbed by Croc's night-stick.

"**The bat-boy here needs his prison uniform with an ID number,"** the Officer says.

"**Ah yes. It's almost ready,"** She then turned to Bruce. **"In the mean time why don't you get yourself showered up?"** she suggested, smiling evilly as Croc dragged Bruce out of the room.

**Outside the Men's Showers - 8:00 am**

Bruce stood at the door that led into the Men's Locker Room and Showers. He turned towards Officer Croc.

"**I am not going to shower with other men. END OF STORY!"** Bruce protests.

"**Too bad. Now get in,"** the Officer says, glaring at Bruce through his dark sunglasses.

"**Forget it,"** Bruce says, crossing his arms.

"**See this taser?"** Croc says as he pulled out a dangerous looking taser. As soon as he showed it to Bruce, it accidentally discharged, shocking Bruce with 10,000 volts of electricity, sending him flying into the locker room, the door closing behind him.

"**Oops, didn't put the safety on…"** the Officers says with a smile, before leaving the area.

**Inside the Men's Showers - 8:39 am**

Bruce peered his head around the entrance to the main showers. It was so steamy he couldn't see anything within the area.

"**Well, here goes nothing,"** Bruce gulped, slowly stepping into the steamy showers. After wandering for what felt like hours through the depth of the misty room, he finally bumped into somebody. The person turned around, revealing himself as none other as Dick.

"**Hey Bruce! Come to take a shower too!"** he says gleefully.

"**Um…yeah…say, Dick…the prisoners in here…they haven't...you know…"**

"**Oh, these nice people? Naw, they are cool. When I dropped my soap, they helped me look for it! Kept bumping into me on accident several times while I was bending…"**

"**OKAY, little too much info…"** Bruce interrupts, eyebrow raised.

"**They're all gone now to eat, I think,"** Dick adds.

So the two men continued their shower in peace. When they where finished, Dick went to dry off in the locker room, while Bruce felt around for his within the showers.

"**Now where did I put it?"** Bruce says out loud, before feeling something.

"**Ah, here it is!"** he says, as he tugged, trying to bring his towel closer to him. However, it didn't budge.

"**What the? My towels' stuck!"**

After giving several more small tugs, he finally gave one mighty pull, followed by a loud ripping noise.

"**What the hell?"** Bruce says wide-eyed, as he was holding a large clump of hair. He was then grabbed by the neck by a large hand and pulled deeper into the shower.

**Prison Outfitter - 9:15 am**

"**Gee Bruce! That's amazing! You must be really strong after surviving the beat-down Bane gave you after you ripped off his chest-hair back in the showers!"**

"**More like cursed…"** Bruce says to Dick, wincing and rubbing the cast around his neck. At that moment, Poison Ivy came out with the two's prison uniforms.

"**Alright, boys, these are your outfits you will be wearing during your time here in Arkham,"** she says as she handed them their outfits. Both of them went into the dressing room and put them on. When they came out, both of them were wearing green colored jumpsuits. They then looked at the numbers on their shirts. Dick's shirt read '4-21-13-2-1-19-19', while Bruce's read '12-15-19-5-18'.

"**Say, Ivy, do these numbers have a special meaning to them?"** Dick asks.

"**Hmm…well, if the number '1' represents the letter 'A', and the number '2' represents the letter 'B'…well, you'll figure it out eventually,"** she says with a seductive smile. Just then, a bell rang, and Officer Croc stepped into the room.

"**Last call for breakfast, maggots,"** Croc says, as he drug the two out toward the cafeteria.

**Cafeteria - 9:27 am**

"**You know, this place isn't half bad,"** Dick says between munches. The two where sitting at the back table in the cafeteria. Dick had some bacon, eggs, a bowl of cereal, an apple, a bagel, and some orange juice. Bruce just got a rock.

"**Remind me to vent my anger and frustration by kicking your ass back at our cell,"** Bruce says, trying to carve into the large piece of marble on his plate. Minutes later, Bruce slammed his fist on the table and stood up.

"**This is ridiculous! First I lose my company, have my identity revealed, lose my mansion, thrown into prison, and now the city has been taken over by Joker and every other villain in Gotham!"** Bruce says, heaving with anger.

"**Aw cheer up, buddy, I'm sure we'll find a way out of here. Besides, I bet Alfred is on his way right now to bail us out!"**

**Meanwhile On The Road Somewhere**

"**Woo hoo! Free at last! Florida retirement home here I come!"** Alfred yelled with happiness in his cab as he made his way toward the Gotham City airport.

**Back in the Cafeteria…**

"**I seriously doubt it,"** Bruce grumbled.

"**Well, what about Commissioner Gordon?"**

**Meanwhile At Commissioner Gordon's House**

**"Your Batman is Bruce Wayne Web Page has reached 1,000,000 hits since yesterday,"** spoke Gordon's computer after his successful website launch last night. He celebrated with Champaign and chips with all the other police officers of Gotham.

**Back in the Cafeteria…**

"**I wouldn't count on it…"** Bruce says, drinking a glass of water he managed to steal from another prisoner.

"…**The Justice League?"** Dick suggests.

**Meanwhile at the Justice League Space HQ**

The Flash was hogging the main Locater Console, chatting with girls from all over the world.

"**How long has he been on that computer?"** the Green Lantern asked Wonder Woman.

"**Seven days,"** she says, rolling her eyes. **"Say, any word on Batman lately? We should see how he's doing."**

"**Naw, we'll leave him alone. Remember, we only call him up when we really need the anti-social bitch,"** Lantern replies.

**Cafeteria…**

"**Fat chance."**

Just then, Bane sat down next to them. He had a satellite dish-sized plate filled to the brim with food. Bane, without turning, grabbed Bruce's rock and popped it into his mouth like it was candy.

"**Hey, that was MY rock, Bane!"** Bruce shouts, as he slapped Bane in the area where he tore off his chest hair earlier.

Moments later, Bruce's outline could be seen in the newly formed gaping hole in the cafeteria wall, with Bane's fist sticking out toward that direction.

* * *

**Batman, Robin, and Bane's Prison Cell - 12:10 pm **

The trio was back in their cells for some downtime. Dick was reading a comic book, while Bane was sewing some sort of garment. Bruce Wayne, who had moved his mattress to the center of the room, was lying down after coming from the infirmary due to the cafeteria incident earlier. He turned toward his partner and whispered to him.

"**Psst, hey Dick! We have got to get out of here. The day isn't half over and I'm already going nuts! I don't know how much longer I can take this!"** he says, wincing in pain every few seconds. Dick scratched his head as he turned to the last page of his book. Then he raised an eyebrow, followed by a big excited grin.

"**Bruce, check out this cool advertisement! It's a 'Make your own official Batman Utility Belt Kit!'"** he says, tearing out the ad and handing it to Bruce.

"**You're kidding? They actually sell stuff like this in comic book?"** he says, scanning the ad's details.

"**Yep! In the last issue, they had a 'Lex Luthor Brand Anti-Superman Kryptonite Making Kit'!"**

"**I'm sure Clark Kent would be ecstatic to hear that,"** Bruce says, rolling his eyes.

"**And check this out, Bruce!"** Dick says, grabbing the ad from Bruce. **"This offer expires if not mailed by 5:00 pm today!"**

"**We need to get that filled out and mailed before 5:00 pm then. That kit may be the key to our freedom from this godforsaken place!"** Bruce says, grabbing the ad back from Dick. He pulled a pen from out of his pocket and quickly filed out the order form, He then folded it neatly and walked toward the barred doors of their cell.

"**Gee Bruce, how are you going to get that mailed?"** Dick asked.

"**When I was in the Outfitter's place earlier, I noticed their prisoner's mail pick-up/drop-off schedule on the wall. If I read correctly, the mail cart's first go-around should roll by here any minute now."**

As if on cue, he heard the mail cart approaching their hallway from around the corner.

"**Okay, here it goes,"** Bruce says, ready to toss the form into the cart. When it came into view, he tossed it out toward the cart, but it missed, landing on the ground. The man in uniform who was pushing the cart then slips on the form and falls flat on his face with a thud.

"**Oops,"** Bruce gulped, for the man that had slipped was Officer K. Croc. Croc quickly stood up and surveyed the hall.

"**Alright, which one of you maggots made me slip on this piece of paper?"** he demanded, patting his nightstick.

Every prisoner in the area then pointed to Bruce's cell. Croc turned around, glared at Bruce, and then smacked Bruce upside the head through the bars with his club. He then picked the form off the ground, crumpled it, and tossed it back at Bruce in his cell.

"**Wow, Bruce, that didn't go very well. What now?"** he says, scratching his head.

"**That letter's getting mailed now matter what!"** Bruce responds, picking up the crumpled form and shaping it into an airplane.

"**Here it goes!"** he says, as he flung the paper airplane toward the cart that Croc continued to push. But the plane flew over the cart and whizzed around the corner.

"**Dammit! It's gone now!"** Bruce grumbles.

Seconds later, out from around that very corner, came Poison Ivy, with the paper airplane form stuck off in the inside of her outfit's top. A bit miffed, she grabs the paper and tears it into pieces and leaves the area.

"**Sonova,"** Bruce starts, slamming his fist into the metal bars, only to get electrocuted with 15,000 volts of electricity, again.

**Cafeteria - 1:34 pm**

"**Get in line, maggots!"** yells Officer Croc, after blowing on his whistle. It was lunchtime at Arkham, and Bruce and his partner Dick were waiting in line to get their food. While they waited, a couple of gang members in front of Bruce turned around to him and started laughing hysterically.

"**Aw snaps man! This is so rich, seeing the Crap-Crusader booked here in Arkham. You really blew it, Bruce-Punk!"** one of the guys says who sported an afro, before laughing once again with his gang.

"**It was a setup!"** Bruce protests. **"This all had to be planned out by the Joker himself!"** he adds.

"**And a tight plan it was, cuz! Welcome to our world, Mr. Crap Crusader,"** the afro man taunts, before the gang members turned their backs to him and got their food. Bruce was red hot and ready to bust them up, when Dick restrained him from doing so.

After he cooled down, he and Dick proceeded to the main meal counter. The lunch guy smirked as he gave Bruce a full tray of food. **"The Joker instructed me to feed you this time so you wouldn't starve to death,"** the lunch guy chuckles as he handed Bruce his tray.

"**Gee, I'm honored,"** Bruce says sarcastically, as he and Dick went to same table they ate earlier at Breakfast. That gaping hole in the wall that Bane punched him through earlier was still there, only it was being guarded by Croc. The two ate silently for a while, before Bruce broke the silence.

"**Say, Dick, I just realized something. If getting imprisoned was really all the Joker's plot, then what's with all the Arkham prisoners here along with our archenemies? You would think they would be running amuck through Gotham!"** he says in between bites.

"**Maybe to make your stay here a living hell?"** Dick suggests, with his cheesy smile.

"**Bluntly says, buddy,"** Bruce mutters as he continued his meal.

Just then, a strong gust of wind blew from the gaping hole in the wall, and with it, a comic book unknowingly flies in between Officer Croc's legs, and stops on the floor behind Bruce's table. He looks down at it and immediately notices that it was another issue of the same book he got the order form from. Bruce's eyes widened as he saw this.

"**Its…it's a miracle! Dick, I have another chance to order that Utility Belt Kit!"** he cheers with happiness.

As he bent down to pick it up, he stopped as he saw Bane walking down that way with a ton of food on his satellite dish-sized tray that was blocking most of his view.

Not seeing the magazine on the ground, Bane slips on it and comes tumbling down on top of Bruce with a crash that shook the entire cafeteria.

**The Rockyard - 3:06 pm**

It was warm outside in the prison's Rock yard. Many of the prisoners were getting their exercise by breaking rocks, while others were lifting weights. Dick was with those people as he tried to bench-press a whopping five pounds. Bruce Wayne, however, was alone by the fence-line, filling out another form so he could hopefully get his Utility Belt Kit. When he finished, he notices another guy pushing the mail cart on the other side of the fence.

"**There's the second go-around,"** Bruce mutters to himself.

He folded the form into a paper airplane once more and aimed it at the cart. When he tossed it, it was on target to go in, but another gust of wind blew it off course. Bruce watched as the plane flew back over the fence, and landed in some guy's afro.

It was the gang member who messed with him earlier at lunch.

The afro-man plucked the plane from out of his hair as he and his gang struts towards Bruce.

"**Is this your paper airplane, mofo?"** the afro-man says, crossing his muscular arms.

"**Who wants to know?"** Bruce counters.

"**That it. No one messes up my afro! I'm going to mess you up, foo!"** he says, closing in on Bruce.

"**Hey Bruce! Give that guy an old fashion fistfight! You know, the one that Adam West always did in his shows with the 'Kapow' and 'Splat'?"** Dick yells from the exercise area.

"**Guess it wouldn't hurt,"** Bruce thought, as he dodged the afro-man's first punch, and countered with a left hook to the chest.

**-POW!-**

The afro-man staggered backwards from the blow Bruce gave him.

"**Man you gonna die now, biatch!"** the afro-man warns, as he and his whole gang started closing in on him.

Bruce would have his hands full for the rest of the afternoon, until evening sets in.

* * *

**Please review and keep watch for the next story: ****Batman's Bad Day 2: Prison Folly: Part 2****, as this collection is constantly updated until its completion!**


	5. Batman's Bad Day 2: Prison Folly: Part 2

**Batman's Bad Day 2: Prison Folly: Part 2  
**

* * *

**The Halls of Arkham - 4:10 pm**

An hour later after the altercation at the Rock-yard, Bruce Wayne was getting a bit of exercise inside the prison...sorta.

**"Damn, what I do to deserve this?"**

**"Yeow!"** Bruce yells, as several projectiles were thrown at him from behind. Every convict in the prison who watched him defeat that dude with the Afro was chasing him down.

**"Hey, throw the kitchen sink at me why don't ya?"** he yells back at them, not turning his head. A loud crashing noise just inches behind him meant they actually threw one at him, and missed, hitting the wall instead.

**"Gotta hide gotta hide gotta hide...HERE!"** he says, as he ran around the corner into another hallway, and diving into what looked like a laundry chute. The ones that were chasing him quickly lost track of his whereabouts.

**A Dark Room - 4:12 pm**

Bruce eventually ended up in a dark, creepy looking room after he reached the end of the chute, landing upside down in a wooden chair with a crash. He slowly got up and shook his head.

**"What is this place?"** he asks, re-positioning him self and looking around at the completely dark room.

**"You're in my office, Bat-brain,"** says a too-familiar voice not too far from where Bruce sat.

Just then, the voice in front of him clicked on the lights. Bruce was in what it looked like to be a rather lavish luxury office, decorated with clown-like objects and furniture.

And sitting in front of him, was none other than the Joker himself.

**"JOKER!"** Bruce yells out in pure anger as he leaped forward and grabbed Joker by the collar. **"YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR WHAT YOU'VE PUT ME THROUGH YOU MANIACAL TWIT!"**

Joker gave Bruce his trademark cheesy-evil grin.

**"Not until you finish out your sentence, hero-boy. Haven't you noticed? Everyone likes you here. It's not often when you have something everyone can beat upon. Besides, what fun would it be to just let you do your business and leave, knowing that you have nowhere left to run. You do know that all of Gotham now knows your secret identity, ri-"**

Bruce cut him short as he shoved the Joker onto the floor and grabbed the nearest object to strike at him with.

**"Temper, temper. Save that excess energy for the ones who want to play with you,"** he continues, reaching for a nearby lever and pulling it, revealing a trap door below Bruce Wayne, in which he fell through in an instant.

**"JOOOOOOOKKKKKEEEEERRR!"** Bruce wails as he fell down the deep pit.

The Joker got up and brushed himself off.

**"My brilliant take-over/Bat humiliation plan isn't complete yet. I've spent countless years on plotting this event, and I'm interested in seeing it played out to its fullest,"** he says, before letting out an evil laugh.

**The Prison's Air Ducts - 4:20 pm**

Bruce Wayne slid down a long and narrow air-duct, before landing on what he though was the bottom.

**"Damn, I almost had him,"** Bruce grumbles, lightly banging his head against the metal duct in frustration. Then he heard the muffled voices of the horde of prisoners that were chasing him earlier on the other side of the ducts' walls.

**"Where's that Bruce Wayne at?"** the voice of the Afro-Man says, as him and the others were frantically searching for him.

**"Whew, they won't find me anytime soon,"** Bruce says to himself.

Suddenly, it started getting rather warm inside the ducts. Soon, it began to get hotter and hotter.

**"Aw horse-shit, the central heating system has been turned on!"** Bruce gasps, as it was now volcano-hot in the ducts. He scrambled down the ducts to find some sort of relief away from the heat, only to crawl right off the edge of another pit of ducts that lead deeper into the prison.

**"WHOA!"**

**BAM! CLANK! CLUNK! BANG! CRASH! CONK! CLANG! CRUNCH! BAM! BOOM!**

Bruce plunged down the ducts while crashing back and forth against the sides of the metal airways. He eventually reached the bottom of the ducts, crashing through a ceiling vent of a private bathroom.

**A...Bathroom? - 4:22 pm **

He landed on something cold and scaly.

**"What the..."** Bruce wonders, before the thing he landed on vaulted him off.

It was officer K. Croc.

**"The hell are you doing here?"** Croc yells at him, whilst reaching for his gun.

**"Oh crap..."** Bruce gulps as he tries to make a break for it.

**"Literally, until you invaded my privacy you troublemaker! Eat lead!"**

**The Halls of Arkham - 4:23 pm**

**"Where's that punk at?"** the Afro-man asks, while the rest of the prisoners followed, before stopping when he heard multiple rounds of gunfire from the door near them. Bruce Wayne burst out the door and high-tailed it down the hallway.

**"Dammit, I missed,"** shouts Croc, as he hopped out of the bathroom while pulling up his pants and reloading his gun simultaneously. He looked at the mass of prisoners.

**"Don't just stand there, help me track down Bruce Wayne!"** Croc commanded to everyone. They all cheered as they continued the chase him throughout the prison.

Minutes later, Bruce somehow ended up back near his jail cell.

**"I can hide there until the rush calms down,"** Bruce thought, stopping in front of his cell. Dick was sitting inside playing cards with Bane.

**"Dick! Let me in, quick!"**

Dick looked up. **"Oh hey, Bruce! Is it dinner time already?"** he asks.

**"No, its not dinner time yet! Just let me in!"**

**"Aw, and I was just starting to get hungry t-"**

**"DICK! DOOR! NOW!"** Bruce yells at the top of his lungs.

Dick immediately opened the door for Bruce and let him in. Bruce dove under the bed to hide from the crowd if they happened to pass the cell.

He was safe... for now...

**The Cafeteria - 7:33 pm**

Bruce Wayne and Dick were back in the Cafeteria for dinner. Bane, who sat next to them, had his usual satellite dish-sized platter, and Dick had sirloin steak with potatoes au' gratin. Bruce somehow got something to eat for himself for once. He couldn't enjoy his meal, however, for everyone who was chasing him earlier had their eyes locked onto him.

"**This is just wonderful…"** Bruce mumbles to himself, munching on his BLT.

"**Don't worry, Bruce, we'll get out of here somehow!"** he assured Bruce, in between bites.

"**Yeah right…"** Bruce responds, slumping down in his seat.

After he was finished eating, something was shoved beside him in the seat. He looked down and saw it was a package. He looked up to see that it was Bane that had given the box to him, who had started to get up and leave the table.

"**What in the world..?"** Bruce thought to himself, shaking the box to try to figure out what's inside.

Before he could figure it out, the bell for all prisoners to return to their cells rang.

"**I'm going to get pounded before I can get back to my cell,"** Bruce gulps as all the prisoners in the area clenched their fists and started to surround his table.

Bruce quickly tuned toward the box. Curious to see what it was before he got his lights punched out, he opened it.

"**No…way…"** Bruce sputters, eyes ready to pop out of his head in shock.

Acting quickly, he grabbed something small out of the box and threw it at the ground.

It was a smoke bomb.

The bomb covered the entire cafeteria with a thick cloud of smoke.

"**Quick, Dick, let's go!"** Bruce shouts, as he blindly grabbed his hand and made their way out of the Cafeteria. The voices of all the prisoners went up in an uproar as they frantically tried to locate Bruce Wayne.

**Batman, Robin, and Bane's Prison Cell - 7:45 pm**

Bruce skid to a stop and leaped into his jail, closing the doors and locking it without hesitation. He pants heavily and tosses the box onto his bed.

"**Looks like we're safe for now, right pal?"** Bruce says as he turned around, only to realize that it wasn't Dick who he grabbed earlier.

It was Officer K. Croc.

Bruce's jaw almost unhinged at what he was seeing, as Officer K. Croc was ready to take out his taser gun.

"**You're in for it now, loser,"** Croc fumes as he swung the taser at Bruce. Bruce dodged it and bust out of his cell and ran down the hallway, with Croc not to far from him.

**Prison Outfitter - 7:48 pm**

After turning several corners, Bruce located an open door and ran inside, falling over several exotic potted plants, ruining them. Croc charged into the room and was about to jump him, until Bruce grabbed a clump of dirt from the broken pots and flung it at Croc, blinding him. Bruce got up and fled the scene.

"**What's all that racket?"** Poison Ivy demands as she stepped in from the back room. She yells out in anger when she saw her plants destroyed, and Croc at the crime scene.

"**Did you do this?"** she says angrily at Croc.

"**Of course not, Miss Ivy! It was Bruce Wayne who caused this mess!"**

"**I see. Well, I'll give him a taste of mother nature when he least expects it,"** she grinned evilly.

**Batman, Robin, and Bane's Prison Cell - 8:00 pm**

Back in the jail cell, Bruce and Dick were huddled in the corner discussing something.

"**Gee, Bruce, you grabbed Croc instead of me when you made the escape?"** he asks, scratching his head.

"**Yes, and it almost got me electrocuted again,"** he replies before showing his partner the box he received earlier.

"**Guess what's inside,"** Bruce insists to his partner.

"**Uh…The Girl Next Door magazines?"** he says with excitement.

"**No, Puberty-Boy!"** Bruce exclaims, as he opened the box and pulled something out. **"It's a Batman Utility Belt!"**

"**That's great! How did you manage to get one?" **Dick asks.

"**I can't begin to comprehend why, but I think Bane ordered one for me,"** Bruce responds.

Dick pulled out a piece of paper from this box. **"That might explain this note Bane wrote saying ****'I pity you'****."**

"**Well… anyway, with this, we can make our escape!" **Bruce says.

"**When do we leave, Bruce?" **Dick asks.

"**We leave tonight. We are going to get out of this living nightmare once and for all!"  
**

* * *

**Later That Night - 10:12 pm **

After lights out and everyone in Arkham went to sleep, Bruce Wayne and his partner prepared to make their escape.

"**Ready?"** Bruce asks, as he strapped on his Utility Belt.

"**I'm ready!" Dick responds with a quiet cheer. "You ready, Bane?"**

Bane nodded and stomped toward their cell door, and effortlessly tore the door off its foundation.

"**Alright, let's go!"**

**The Hallways - 10:20 pm**

The two heroes snuck down the hallways of Arkham, keeping an eye out for any security patrolling the area, being especially cautious of encountering Officer Croc. Bruce looked up and saw an open window in the prison's ceiling.

"**Time to use my Bat-cable."**

Pulling a small gun out of his Utility Belt, he pointed the gun toward the ceiling window, and shot the line toward it. It latched onto a secure area, strong enough for him and Dick to climb up.

"**You first,"** Bruce instructs his partner. Dick climbed the rope and made it to the top in seconds.

"**Now its my turn."**

Bruce began climbing up the rope slowly, and got halfway up before he was face to face with a familiar Crocodile on the second floor balcony.

You guessed it, it was Croc, and he was pissed off to the max.

"**Trying to escape huh? That's it, pal, you're dead!"** Croc growls, pulling out a gigantic rocket launcher.

"**Oh no you don't!"** Bruce says as he whipped out some Bat-mace and sprayed it into Croc face.

"**Gah! I can't see!"** Croc yells out while trying to rub off the substance. Bruce hurriedly made his way to Arkham's rooftop.

**Arkham Rooftop - 10:24 pm**

"**Alright, from here, we climb down the side of the prison and we'll be home free,"** Bruce instructs Dick, before another familiar man approached him.

It was non other then the guy with the Afro.

"**Yo man, you ain't getting away from us no more!"** the Afro-man warns the duo.

"**What are you doing up here?"** Bruce inquires.

"**We were tipped off by the man, Joker. I also brought my homies with me too!"** the Afro-man says, snapping his fingers. That's when the rest of the prison's inmates began to emerge from behind him, all carrying deadly weapons.

"**So the Joker knows about our escape. What else can go wrong?"** Bruce wonders, reaching for his Utility Belt.

**Prison Outfitter - 10:25 pm**

"**For destroying my exotic plants, time for Bat-boy to feel the power of my all natural itching powder, dormant in his prison outfit. It should take effect in 3…2…1…"** Poison Ivy counts with an evil smile.

**Arkham Rooftop - 10:26 pm**

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEIIIIII!"** Bruce yells as he began to itch violently from the powder within his outfit. He jumped and twitched and rolled around the rooftop trying to get relief from the powerful substance within him.

"**Man, he's gone wack! Let's get him!" **the Afro-man commanded the other prisoners to attack.

"**Got….to…get….this…off….of…me…now…..!"** Bruce cringes, as he frantically pulled off the outfit and tossed it away, unknowingly throwing it at the Afro-man's face.

"**What da hell is dis shit!"** the Afro-man shouts as he began itching too, trying to get the outfit out of his face.

"**Dick, let's get out of here!"** he shouts, as he and his partner ran the opposite direction of the others.

**Second Floor of Prison - 10:27 pm**

Officer K. Croc got some of his sight returned to him as he looked up toward the roof and shouts.

"**You're mine!" **

He aimlessly fired the rocket toward the roof.

**Arkham Rooftop - 10:28 pm**

While the two race across the rooftop, Dick turned toward his partner.

"**You hear something, buddy?"**

A loud whistling sound, followed by a huge explosion ensued, blowing up and collapsing half the rooftop where the prisoners were. They all fell back into the prison with a crash.

The explosion was strong enough to throw both heroes off of the rooftop. They flew off and splashed into Gotham Bay. The two emerged from the waters shortly thereafter.

"**We made it, buddy!"** Dick cheers.

"**Yes, but we are not entirely out of the clear yet. We need a boat to speed out of here before the Prison personnel catch up to us."**

Just as if on queue, a speedboat started moving toward them. The boat stopped immediately before it hit the two heroes.

"**Hey, get out of the way!"** says Two-Face, the boat's owner. But before he could react any further, both Bruce and Dick climbed into the boat and punched out Two-Face 1966 style, and shoved him overboard. They then revved the board into high gear and sped away from Arkham.

They had successfully escaped.

**Joker's Office - 10:45 pm **

After all of the excitement died down, Officer K. Croc bursts into Joker's office.

"**Mr. Joker, sir, the Dynamic Duo escaped Arkham!"**

Joker tuned around in his chair and looked at Croc with his usual evil smile.

"**I'm quite aware of that. Everything is going according to plan,"** he says, getting up and heading out the room.

"**B-Boss? I don't understand!"** Croc says, raising an eyebrow.

"**Don't worry about it. Just get a hold of Harley, Riddler, Mr. Freeze, and the Penguin…"**

"…**we're going Bat-Hunting."  
**

* * *

**Please review and keep watch for the final story: ******Batman's Bad Day 3: The Semi Sweet Escape**, as this collection is constantly updated until its completion!**


	6. Batman's Bad Day 3: Semi Sweet Escape

**Batman's Bad Day 3: The Semi Sweet Escape**

* * *

**Shores of Gotham Bay - 6:45 am**

It was sunrise.

The Dynamic Duo had escaped Arkham Prison and had hijacked a speedboat to make their way to a safer location. Once on shore, the two heroes flopped down onto the sands, exhausted from the intense evening that was now behind them.

"**We've made it, buddy!"** Dick pants, turning his head to Bruce, who was equally worn out as well.

"**Yes, but we aren't in the clear just yet. We need to leave Gotham immediately,"** Bruce comments, closing his eyes.

"**But…what about the citizens who need us?"** Dick responds in awe.

"**Listen, It's obvious that we can't do anything in our current state and situation. We need to head to somewhere safe so we can rest and develop a strategy. With the Justice League not coming to our aid and without the Bat-cave, we've hit an all time low,"** Bruce explains, sitting up, clutching a handful of sand. **"I don't know how long we can last with just my Utility Belt alone."**

"**I see…"** Dick states, looking up toward the street, were he spotted a cab slowly driving by.

"**Look Bruce, a cab!"** he points out.

"**Good. We can get to Gotham's airport in no time now,"** he states, standing up and running towards the street. **"Taxi!"** he calls out, in hopes for the driver to stop.

The cab did indeed stop, and the duo got in the back of the cab and soon they were off.

**Gotham Freeway - 7:02 am **

The two kick back as they waited to arrive at the airport.

"**Hey, Bruce. Don't you find it odd that the driver knows where we are going, even though we haven't says a single word to him at all?"** Dick asks, scratching his head.

"**Hey…you're right!"** Bruce says in suspicion. He knocked on the dark-tinted window to get the driver's attention. **"Excuse me, driver, where exactly were you taking us?"**

The window rolled down to reveal another villain Bruce Wayne didn't want to see…

…Clay Face.

"**I'm taking you to a place where no one will hear you scream!"** Clay Face responds darkly, turning the wheel sharply, causing the car to jerk sharply as it switched lanes.

"**Not on my watch!"** Bruce responds, diving through the window to where Clay Face was driving. They both began to wrestle for control of the wheel as the cab swerved left and right as it sped along the freeway.

"**Get off me!"** Clay Face growls, liquefying himself and reforming himself behind Bruce. **"Die!"** he yells, grabbing the dark knight by the waist and chucked him out of the side window onto the highway. Bruce quickly pulled out his bat-cable and shot it toward the cab, which latched itself onto the vehicle. He swung himself back toward the cab before he made contact with the road below him and landed on the cab's hood.

"**What?! You aren't getting away that easily!"** Clay Face shouts, as he proceeded to climb out of the cab and meet Bruce on the hood for a fight.

"**Dick! Take control of the wheel!"** Bruce yells out to his buddy, who nodded and did just that, keeping the cab straight as it reached speeds of 80 mph.

"**Take this!"** Clay Face proclaims, extending his gooey arm and grabbing Bruce by the waist and holding him up in the air. **"Haha, the next overpass we come to, you be turned into splattered bat-juice!"**

"**Damn!"** Bruce says, turning his head to see a highway overpass just meters away.

He then had an idea.

"**Clay Face! You've dropped your wallet!"** Bruce yells to him.

"**Huh?"** Clay Face responds, looking down at the hood of the car. **"Wait a minute, I don't have a wallet…"** he says, unaware that Bruce had used a batarang to slice off Clay Face's outstretched arm that was holding him high in the air. Bruce landed on top of the cab's hood hard enough to cause the end where Clay stood to bend upward, catapulting him into the air just in time for him to be squashed against the highways' overpass.

"**Way to go!"** Dick cheers, as Bruce slips back inside the cab.

"**Yes, but that was too close. Let's hope that'll be the last of any villain we see for a while,"** he comments, slumping down in his seat, sighing a breath of relief.

**Gotham City Airport - 7:34 am**

When the two had finally arrived at the airport, they hastily made their way inside.

"**Bruce, what are going to do about getting a ticket? We're broke!"** Dick asks, turning his pockets inside out to reveal that they were empty.

"**That's not a problem. I found enough money for our tickets in the cab's glove compartment,"** Bruce responds as they reached the check-in counter.

"**Two round-trip tickets to the farthest destination you offer,"** Bruce says, giving the money to the worker.

"**Okay sir, your flight to Metropolis will leave shortly,"** she responds, handing them their tickets.

"**Metrooplois…?"** Bruce says. **"That's where Clark Kent lives…Well, I hope that place is safer then what Gotham has now become."**

They hurriedly made their way to where they were to board their flight, but had to stop and get in line where the metal-detector was.

Bruce sighed. Soon, they both would be on their way to another place where they could regain their composure and clear their heads.

"**Master… Bruce?!"** came a voice from across the airport.

"**Huh….Alfred?"** Bruce says, spinning around to see his butler sitting at the airport lobby. Alfred ran to the duo in surprise and relief.

"**Oh, Master Bruce! Thank heavens… you are alright!"** the butler replies in relief.

"**Same here,"** Bruce responds, grinning.

"**What are you doing here at the airport?"** Dick asks Alfred.

"**Well, you see, fearing that I'd be captured by Gotham's villains, I came here to catch a flight out of the city, but my flight got delayed, "** he explains.

"**Hmm…I see…so you were planning on going to Florida where you could retire and leave us to rot in Arkham…am I right?"** Bruce asks slyly, eyeing Alfred's ticket, which was sticking out of his pocket.

"**Oh dear…well…you see…"** Alfred says, trying to cover up his original plan.

"**Too late. You're coming with us. The more the merrier,"** Bruce says, as he proceeded to head back to the main counter and change Alfred's ticket.

**Meanwhile…**

The Joker, Penguin, Harley, and Riddler where sneaking around the airport in disguise, searching for the escapees Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson.

"**Mr. J! Are you sure those two are wandering around here?"** Harley asks in a doubtful tone.

"**Of course they're here! Clay Face calls me a while ago and told what happened and where they might be heading to,"** Joker responds.

"**And I don't mean to be a sour-pickle, but why isn't the airport under our control yet?"** Harley asks.

"**I was going to take care of that later today, but bat-brain, bird-boy, and their butler got here sooner then I planned. Now my plans are screwed up after that fallout with Clay Face,"** the Joker sighs with frustration.

"**Look, there they are!"** Penguin says, pointing at the group about to enter through the metal detector.

"**A shot from the item, that shields you from the rain, will put the bat out, minus the pain,"** Riddler responds.

"**That was the gayest riddle I have ever heard. But any who, one tranquilizer bullet, coming up!"** Penguin says, as he rolled his eyes as he loaded his umbrella gun.

**Back With The Heroes**

"**Remove anything metal you may have on you and place it on the tray,"** the security officer states.

"**I wonder if it'll detect the bullets in my ass from when I was chased down the streets of Arkham the first night…"** Bruce wonders as he placed his utility belt on the tray and proceeded to walk through the scanner.

**Back With The Villains**

"**Fire!"** Penguin yells, as he shot the tranquilizer at Bruce, which narrowly missed him, causing the scanner's alarms to blare as the bullet passed through it.

"**Penguin you idiotic bird! How could you miss? No matter, security will seize them in no time,"** the Joker comments, shaking his head.

**And With The Heroes…**

"**Stop right there!"** the security officer shouts, blowing on his whistle.

"**Run!"** Bruce yells. He, Dick, and Alfred shoved there way past security and ran to where their flight was soon to take off. Within seconds, police flooded the entire airport to join the chase to stop them.

"**What on earth could have happened, sir?"** Alfred asks Bruce as they ran.

"**Someone was trying to stop us, that's what! Quick, let's board the plane!"** he says, as they all boarded the plane to Metropolis just before its doors closed shut.

**Back With The Villains**

"**Now what, Mr. J? They're getting away!"** Harley whines.

"**Not to worry, Harley. We'll catch the next flight to this…Metropolis. He's not getting away from us that easily,"** the Joker responds, before Airport Security soon surrounded them as well.

"**You guys look suspicious. Let's see some I.D.,"** the officers demand.

"**Uh oh…this may take a while,"** Penguin says, as the police closed in on them.

* * *

**Plane To Metropolis - 11:00 am**

"_Master Bruce…wake up!"_

Alfred woke Bruce Wayne after being sound asleep on the plane. He yawned and stretched his arms before looking at his partners. Alfred was sipping some tea enjoying a good book, while Dick was flirting with the female flight attendants.

"**Are we there yet?"** Bruce asks, rubbing his eyes.

"**We could, Master Bruce. Take a look out the window and see,"** Alfred says in between sips.

Bruce sat up and leaned over toward the plane's side window and gazed outside.

"**We're…still over the ocean?"** Bruce questions, raising an eyebrow. Water stretched as far as the eye could see. **"I guess we still gave a ways to go…"** he mutters.

**Later During The Flight - 11:23 am**

Bruce was once again napping in his seat, when he awoke and noticed everyone in the cabin around him were all gone.

**"Did we land already?"** Bruce questions, yawning. He takes another lok out the window.

They were still over the ocean.

**"Something's not right…"** Bruce says, getting up out of his seat. **"I'm going to go and investigate."**

He steps into the isle and heads toward the back of the plane. Each section he passes through, he saw no passengers.

**"Now this plane was full when we got on earlier…what in the world happened while I was asleep?"** he asks himself.

Just then, an announcement was made over the loud speakers.

**_"Good evening passengers, or should I say, Bruce Wayne. Welcome to Hijacked Airlines, this is Catwoman, your pilot during this trip, I hope you will enjoy your stay, especially in a few minutes when you get your ass beat by an old friend of yours. Enjoy!"_**

**"What?! This was all a ploy! How could I fall for yet another trap?"** Bruce says in frustration. **"I've got to find the others, and soon!"**

**"Not until you and me fight one-on-one!"** says a voice from behind him.

It was Two-Face.

**"So you think you can get away with stealing my boat back outside the prison last night? You've got another thing coming!"** Two-Face says, pulling out his machine gun and pointing it at Bruce.

**"H-hey! Don't shoot that in here! You'll blow a hole through the plane and we'll lose pressure and crash!"** Bruce explains quickly.

**"Oh...yeah…you're right…"** Two-Face says, looking down, embarrassed on being put on the spot for his faulty plan.

Bruce took this opportunity to quickly tackle Two-Face onto the floor. Both of them began to wrestle and roll around tying to get the upper hand on each other. Bruce began throwing punches at Two-Face, while Two-Face countered by using a dinner tray he knocked over during the altercation.

Bruce kicked away his adversary and quickly stood. He then began running through the plane trying to find traces of the missing passengers and his buddies.

**"Get back here!"** Two-Face yells as he hastily approached Bruce from behind.

**"Here, let me show you the door!"** Bruce says, quickly opening a nearby lavatory door, causing Two-Face to run smack dead into it.

**"What's the matter? Getting beat up by a door? You've hit an all time l-"** Bruce began to taunt, but Two-Face punches through the door and grabs Bruce buy his neck and starts choking him.

Bruce eventually gets away by shutting the door into Two-Face's arm. He heads down toward the baggage department, where all of the passengers were being held, all of them tied up and gagged.

**"So this is where everyone went too…I got to set them loose before-"** Bruce says, but was cut off again when Two-Face appeared behind him and tripped him, sending Bruce tumbling down the spiral staircase.

**"Haha! Now stay down there until we arrive back in Arkham Prison,"** Two-face cackles, before shutting the baggage department door and locking it.

**"Dammit!"** Bruce says as he was now trapped with the others.

**Much Later During The Flight - 11:59 am**

Bruce had taken the liberty of untying all of the hostages, including the real airplane pilot, the flight attendants, and his buddies Alfred and Dick.

**"What a fine mess this is,"** Alfred says.

**"Bruce, what do we do now?"** Dick asks.

Bruce thought for a moment, trying to think of a way out of this situation.

Then it hit him…

**"Everyone, gather around, I know a way we can take back this flight,"** Bruce says to all of the passengers. **"Here's the plan…"**

**Much Later During The Flight - 12:25 pm**

Catwoman and Two-Face were conversing in the cockpit area.

**"Man, this was too easy. Batman and Robin are going to get it now once they return to Arkham Prison,"** Two-Face says.

**"Yes, this was indeed the perfect plan,"** Catwoman responds as she continued flying the plane back towards Gotham.

Just then, both of them heard a faint fry for help from the back of the plane.

**_"HELP! HELP! SNAKES ON THE PLANE! SOMEONE HELP US!"_**

**"You better go see what all the ruckus is,"** Catwoman says to Two-Face

**"Oh fine,"** Two-Face says as he left the room.

Two-Face arrives at the door to the baggage department and opens it.

**"What's all the ruckus about?!"** Two-Face demands.

**"NOW!"** Bruce yells as all of the passengers and crew of the plane storm out of the room, trampling over Two-Face in the process.

**"Now to take care of Catwoman,"** Dick says. Bruce nodded and both of them headed toward the cockpit.

Within minutes, the Dynamic Duo had successfully ejected Catwoman from the cockpit. Several volunteer passengers then apprehended the two villains. The real pilot took to the wheel and turned the plane around back toward its real destination: Metropolis.

**Eventually… - 1:00 pm**

Later after everything had returned to normal, Bruce was back in his seat enjoying th rest of the flight. Just then, a flight attendant spoke over the loud speakers.

_**"Ladies and Gentlemen, please fasten your seat-belts. We will be arriving in Metropolis shortly."**_

After hearing this, Bruce buckled his seat-belt.

"**Hey, where's Dick at?"** Bruce asks, looking up and down the isle for his buddy.

"**The last I saw him he was near the storage closet at the back of the plane, talking to some fine-looking flight attendants,"** Alfred comments, buckling up his belt as well.

"**Well he better be making his way back before the plane starts to descend,"** Bruce says, sighing.

Minutes later the plane started descending, flying down at a semi-steep angle. That's when Bruce and Alfred heard Dick yelling as he slid down the isle-way on his butt at a pretty fast speed.

"**HiBruceLookslikeIforgottogetinmyseattobuckleupbutIwashavingthisgreattimewitht-hisgirlbutanywaysseeyoulater!"** Dick spoke quickly as he slid past their seats. A loud crashing noise was then heard near the front of the plane.

**_"Ladies and gentlemen, do not be alarmed by the loud crash you may or may not have heard near the cockpit doors. It seems a young man has crashed headfirst into the doors of our cockpit. I repeat there is no need to be alarmed."_**

Bruce placed his hand over his face and shook it in embarrassment, while Alfred somehow found the incident amusing and chuckled.

* * *

**Metropolis Airport - 2:35 pm **

"_Master Bruce…we're here!"_

Bruce Wayne was once again woken up from another nap. Bruce was tired especially after the brawl he had been part of. He yawns and looks out the window.

"**Finally…we've made it…"** Bruce says with a sigh of relief.

They were finally in Metropolis, safe and sound.

Once the trio stepped off of the plane, they went to the luggage terminal and retrieved their bags. Afterwards, they went toward the exit and waited for a cab to take them to the nearest hotel.

**Meanwhile…Back Inside Metropolis Airport…**

The Joker, Penguin, Riddler, and Harley peeked around the corner of the exit and spy upon Bruce Wayne and his pals.

"**Hmm…the Dynamic Duo and their butler may have survived their flight, but soon it will be their end! Did you set up the bombs like I planned?"** Joker asks Harley.

"**Sure did, Mr. J!"** Harley says, giving Joker a thumbs up.

"**Nyahaha! Birdbrain doesn't even suspect that there are high-grade explosives in his suitcase! One flip of a switch and BOOM, bat-soup!"** Penguin laughs evilly.

"**Sooo…who's got the switch to detonate the bombs?"** Harley asks.

All of the villains look at each other, before glaring at Riddler, who looked to be pretty embarrassed at the moment.

"**Well?"** Joker demands to Riddler.

"**I uh…think I packed it inside the suitcase as well…"** Riddler says with a cheesy smile.

"**You…did…WHAT?!"** Joker yells. **"Now how are we supposed to kill Batman and his gang?!"**

**Back Outside…**

"**Hey Bruce…what's that?" **Dick says, pointing up at the sky.

All thee men look up in the sky to see not a bird, not a plane, but the hero in blue, Superman, flying above them. Superman descends and lands in front of them.

"**Clark…what a surprise…what are you doing here?"** Bruce asks.

"**I've come to escort you three out of here. It's not safe,"** Superman says.

"**What do you mean?"** Bruce asks.

Superman uses his X-Ray vision to scan the area inside the building, locating the villains easily.

"**Joker and his gang have been tailing you, that's why,"** Superman explains.

"**That might explain why we encountered so many villains during our escape here to Metropolis,"** Alfred suggests.

"**What do you propose we do and go?"** Bruce asks Superman.

"**First, we get rid of your baggage,"** Superman says, grabbing them.

"**But all that I have left is in those suitcases!"** Bruce protests.

"**Yes, along with a pack of high frequency explosives that were planted in your baggage!"** Superman says, tossing the bags into the air, and shooting them with his laser eyes, causing them to explode out of harm's reach.

"**Holy exploding baggage, Bruce, that was close!"** Dick says with much surprise.

"**Your X-Ray vision spotted the explosives I presume?"** Bruce asks.

Superman nodded as if to say yes.

"**Now come, we must go now,"** Superman says, calling over a cab to them. **"Have the cab driver follow me down the street to my apartment. Me and other Justice League heroes will help plan your next action so you can reclaim Gotham."**

Bruce, Dick, and Alfred nodded as all three of them got into the cab and followed Superman as instructed.

**Back At The Airport...**

All of the villains rushed outside just as Bruce Wayne and the others had left.

"**So Bat-boy will be getting help in reclaiming Gotham City…"** Joker says, rubbing his chin.

Joker turns around and walks back into the airport.

"**Where are you going?"** Penguin asks.

"**We are going back to Gotham City, immediately!"** Joker responds.

"**What?! So soon? But why now, Mr. J?"** Harley says, whining.

"**With the Justice League on their side, it will be tough to defend our newly controlled city. We must prepare to give Batman the time his life!" **Joker responds.

The others look at each other, shrug, and follow suit as well, catching the next plane to return to Gotham City.

**Superman's Apartment - 4:09 pm **

Later that afternoon, all three guys make it to Superman's apartment. They get out and head up to the floor where he lives on. They open the door and enter, where they see the rest of the original Justice League members standing there waiting for them.

"**Long time no see…"** says Green Lantern.

"**Hey, nice to see ya again, Bruce!"** Flash says, patting Bruce on the back.

"**Oh my…so these are the ones you work with…"** Alfred says.

"**You mean the ones I used to work with. I resigned from the Justice League a year ago,"** Bruce explains.

"**Indeed. After the global threat of villains had died down in the rest of the world, he took his leave…"** Wonder Woman adds.

"**So you guys found out about my predicament then…"** Bruce says, sighing.

"**Yes. After we pried Flash off of the main computer, we did a worldwide scan for dangerous activity, and Gotham flashed on the screen on Red Alert. We sent Martian Manhunter out to seek you out, but found nothing. Good thing we found you when we did, or things would have gotten rather ugly,"** Green Lantern explains.

"**Gotham is in ruin…and it's all because of my inability to see though the Joker's tricks,"** Bruce says, shaking his head.

"**Oh come now, is that the Batman we all know? He would never give up so easily! Granted you still lack the optimism we all know and like about you, you still have us, right?"** Flash says.

"**What do you say? Let's take back Gotham City together,"** Superman says.

Bruce looks up at Superman, and the others.

"Someday...but for now, we must plan. One day I'll get my revenge on Joker," Bruce states.

* * *

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